Sunday, November 9, 2008
{ 1:25 PM }
TO THINK IM LIVING IN LIKE HELL MISERY RIGHT NOW.
not really that bad actually, its just slightly better than the previous breakdown~
LIKE, if i do not go to china this year to see my parents, im not able to go for any trips overseas at all~
ANY TRIPS~~
there r many reasons why i do not wan to go~
like firstly, its friggin boring, like CHINA AGAIN =.=
i only see ppl spitting out saliva onto the ground n cheap stuffs to buy for all my friends~
even its in BEIJING, the olympic venue,
ITS STILL BORING IN A WAY THAT I CANT BE BOTHERED TO GO AGAIN =.= like i just went there earlier this year, n finally get to SEE the forbidden palace for the FIRST time in my life~
going with the school was even more boring. cant even get to go to red bridge (hongqiao) to buy those cheapskate jewellery or notebooks~
and this yr my dad wanted to bring us go to the terracota o.o?
aiya the qinshihuang tomb lor, and im like,
DO I CARE WHETHER ITS HIS TOMB OR NOT =.=?
if he's alive, den yeah i would LOVE to go there,
but HES A FRIGGIN DEAD MAN~ IM NOT GONNA SACRIFICE MYSELF!!!
and im being threatened~! effing threaten~
like, me parents accused me that i DO NOT WANT TO SEE THEM when i said i didnt wan to go, or rather, i COULDNT!
WHICH GODDAMN CHILD DOESNT MISS THEIR PARENTS?!
i stayed becuz i love choir too and i dont wan to miss any practices,
especially when we're having a performance in I-DONT-KNOW-WAT-IT-IS
when i know that i sucked enough already n i need more training~
of course, who doesnt wan to take a breather n escape from this stupid island?
this is so shitty~
and someone in choir is ANGRY or SAD or I DUNNO WHAT SHYT with me
for...i dont really wanna talk abt it
the whole world is angry with me for god's sake
like DO I HAVE A CHOICE~
im not gonna commit suicide now, im not that depressed~
like, i oso wan to go to china to escape from all this mess SO MUCH~
but thats meaning escaping from my problems ~
i really really hate myself...alot
im now in a terribleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee situation~
N SERIOUSLY, i dont wan my emotions get in my way of my friends n stuff
=.= im gonna be ok i think =.= argh
